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To Catch a Demon

by Konscience

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1.
Lullaby 03:37
(Verse 1) Lay your head. You remind myself of me. Lay your weary head to rest. Battle with your thoughts of death. Darling, all I know: It gets easier as you go. Just stop searching for some other love if you haven't loved yourself. (Verse 2) Lay your head. You remind myself of me. Lay your weary head to rest. Battle with your thoughts of death. I've had battles too. Got some scars to show as proof. I was hoping for a saving grace; I could only save myself. (Bridge) Oh, don't you see? There's no demon in your head. You haven't learned even half of yourself yet. (Verse 3) Lay your head. You remind myself of me. Lay your weary head to rest. Battle with your thoughts of death. You should always know You have me to train your soul, But the battle's on a battleground I can never ever reach. (Verse 4) Lay your head. You remind myself of me. Lay your weary head to rest. Battle with your thoughts of death. Wisdom doesn't come without shedding of your blood. Happiness is flaky. All you need is to really love yourself. (Bridge) Oh, don't you see? There's no demon in your head. You haven't learned even half of yourself yet. (Outro) Lay your head. Lay your weary head to rest.
2.
(Verse 1) In my motherfucking database, I got a few fucking things I'm afraid to say, and they can slay me... Or maybe they can just break me down slowly day to day. Same song, same dance, man; don't you know? Continue walking in circles and Do-si-do. Stay in line. Don't say nothing. Know your role 'cause them folks ain't bluffin'. I wanna soul train that I know ain't comin'. Another rotation; a full tank runnin'. I can go days with no face to save. Low stakes if you take in consideration the days that I won't be here. Days and days and days and days and days that I won't be here. So, just know that I won't keep fear. To keep wheels spinnin', I must own clean gears. Here's that. (Verse 2) Gotta wake up. Gotta wake up. Someone save me! Demons are crowding over my life, And I noticed my gears were rusting And that my fears were running My life, and I was a subject to their reign. It's okay. I'll see another day And then another day Until I'm done with days. That's if I allow myself to be controlled by the demons. If I just focus on sleep, then it will be pointless to be here. I guess it's... (Outro) Time to reboot. Time to reboot. (X2) Time to wake up. (X6) Now, wake up. (X3)
3.
Goodmornin' 03:03
(Chorus) Wake up, sunshine. May the sunrise. You're not alone. You're not alone. Goodmornin'. Goodmornin', my darlin'. Goodmornin'. Goodmornin' to you. (Verse 1) Starlight, star bright. Star shines in the dark, and it's alright. The unknown's only unknown if you let the dark grow, so don't keep me in the dark. No. Fear is of the unknown. Fear will drive the sun home. Are you afraid of the dark too? Are you afraid if you make the wrong move and overstep an imaginary line that you might not be able to make it to the next light? That there may never be a next time? There's always been a shadow of a doubt at my bedside. Maybe just present what I know to the next guy. We distract ourselves. Nice shiny objects to hide the dark. But knowledge is a flame, so it's nice to start to learn yourself, so you can light the spark. (Chorus) (Verse 2) I remember as a kid lyin up at night. Eyes closed tight 'cause the glimmer of the street light just might give a glimpse into the darkness. What I fear might be proven to be harmless. On the other hand, it might just drain my soul. It's a danger zone. So, I live out the fear out of fear for worse. Make sense? Nah, but it seemed to work. Anything to keep my sanity intact. Couldn't ever find the light in the pitch black. That's sort of a metaphor for the way that most people see life, so they sit back, worryin' about the past, thinkin' about this and that. Life's hard. My goal is to save you from the dark. My goal is to liberate your heart, so I guess good morning's a good start. (Chorus) (Outro) Safe to say you're not on your own. It's safe to say you're not on your own. You're safe. Just say you're not on your own, my darling... Goodmornin'...
4.
(Verse 1) I know I'm not a... (Repeat) I know I'm not a perfect guy; please don't hear me that way. I'm not trying to paint myself as a God or a prophet, a saint or else. I... I sometimes hate myself. I'm not a perfect guy. Please don't hear me that way I'm no God. I'm no saint. (X3) I'm no God. Please don't hear me that way. (Chorus) Live and learn. I just wanna be a helping hand. Live and learn. I know I'm no perfect man. (Verse 2) Pacing back and forth while I fiddle with my hands. Eyes to the future; mind is riddled with the past. Time is of the essence, so, essentially, I gotta use this time wisely to help develop my senses... Defenseless; I'm sitting with a glimmer of hope. I hope that someone else can see that I'm surrounded by smoke or maybe smog, Polluted by the fumes inside my mind. I'm sick of always feeling so defenseless all the time. How do you do it so beautifully, and who could think that someone could be happy just by being themselves? I guess I'm finally comin out to say I've needed some help. I guess I've always written 'bout the things that I've felt, but this is new: The gloom that isn't simply from my view. Distorted vision's fixed, but now, I see nothing ahead. I just feel lost, but maybe I should to the song: I control my destiny, won't drive it to a wall like (Outro) Oh, I control my destiny. (Repeat)
5.
Find Me 03:12
(Verse 1) I've walked the winding road with blinding lights like Wonderwall. I've listened to the rain and always showed when thunder called. I never hid myself on purpose, So, tell me, do i deserve this? I'm always battling with who I am as a person. But then, I walked into the woods and showed myself to the earth. I wandered 'round until my path was formless in dirt. My open heart was worthless, so I exposed the raw nerves, And told the world that I'm a terrible person. But aren't we all? Habits formed just so we can stall the realization that we aren't deserving at all because we only use a part of our gift. I'm starting to flip; I'm losing it, I guess, And that's the heart of my pitch. I'm yelling... (Chorus) Find me! (Oh, won't you find me?) (Repeat) (Verse 2) Dear, journal. Why would you wanna listen to me? I wouldn't want to listen to an eye without a vision. I guess I'm not really acting like a human should, and I'm not doing good by crying to a diary, And I can see the irony in everything that I try to be, But life is full of irony, so tell me, who's the reader. I just wanna find and ask them for directions. Ask some questions. Ask them how am I supposed to live a curse and count my blessings? The dirt is scrambled now; there ain't no way to get back. Anyway, what would I get back to? I don't wanna live that again. So, I'm a vagabond. There's an aesthetic part in being an ascetic. But regardless, I'm still sitting, waiting... (For you to find me) (Chorus)
6.
(Verse 1) It's a wind up and wind down kind of town. It's time to pout 'bout the faith I had in Mayans now. It's smile frown. More smile frown. Put lighters down. The vibe is out. Inside is doubt. Don't try to route me away 'cause, yes, the things I say are true. I'm kinda feeling like a simulation in this booth, and I am walking beside a crowd. It's smile frown. More smile frown. Inside is doubt. (Chorus) This repetition's what I feel everyday, But please allow my rags to clean away the mess that I made. My money money. More money money. No money, honey. Got me wound up, so I can finally wind down. Inside's doubt. Am I sound? Am I down? When I'm downcast, I try to organize sound. Wind up. Wind down. (Repeat) (Verse 2) Stress every day. Plane to mayday. Red eyes, black bags, But the day's gray. They ask how I'm doing; I just say great. Don't wanna be another waste on the main way. Can't chase dreams, And I can't face demons. I can't stay preachin' with Beelzebub inside me. Find me. Yes, I'm begging you to find me. Hide me. Yes, I'm begging you to hide me. (X2) (Chorus during second repetition)
7.
Glad World 02:01
(Verse 1) Why is it hard to be sad and be mad when he said and she said that we have to be glad? And we wonder why we constantly battle these demons. Every vice we have to distract ourselves will just feed 'em. (Bridge) I've said it once, and I'm'a say it again: I'm pretty certain no one really sees themselves as a friend, and it's a... (Chorus) A sad, sad world... A mad, mad world... A terrified, always-striving-to-be-glad world. (Repeat) (Chorus Pt. B) No more of this. No... (Repeat) (Verse 2) And I know the days go on and on and on... (Repeat) (Verse 2 Pt. B) Why is it hard to be sad and be mad 'Cause we feel like we have to be glad. (Bridge) I've said it once, and I'm'a say it again: I'm pretty certain no one really sees themselves as a friend, and it's a... (Chorus) A sad, sad world... A mad, mad world... A terrified, always-striving-to-be-glad world. (Repeat) (Outro) Why is it hard to be sad and be mad? 'Cause we feel like we have to be glad.
8.
(Verse 1) I know you're thinking everybody's on their own side. I know you know that they're not what they don't hide... what they allow to be exposed to unknown eyes. I know they think the gate is closed where their soul lies. So, why you worried what they think about you? And why you worried that they're gonna form a crowd around you? And Why the worry? Why the worry? Why the worry? Why the worry? I guess that's why you told me this story. You told me.. You told me you could see it in their lying eyes. You told me they did little to hide. You told me they're the reason you resigned, But you kept on telling them that you were doing just fine, but that's alright. That's alright 'cause everybody lies. Everybody judges, and, yes, everybody's biased. In disguises, they're sizing you up. Don't tell me that they're getting to your head. It's the social mere effect. Let's talk about it. (Chorus) "They're right over me. I feel like they're standing right over me," And I don't care. Why don't you breathe? A breath of air. They stare. Why don't you leave? "I know that they're right over me. I feel their eyes full of spite right over me," But what's the fare for being fair? A lot of judgment in the air. (Verse 2) I can feel them burning in my soul, turning it to stone. How much longer til I turn into them, though? People stare at what they do not understand, and they envy happy endings, so they ruin other's plans. It's a defense for a dream that they had ruined in the past 'cause they let it go. "Not set in stone. No clue what it could have." That's the future... We'll take a sure thing instead of a dream. Maybe we're scared of what the eyes will say. Don't wanna be a loser.. I'll keep yearning instead of chasing. Man, I'll be staring if you try to hide away. You can never please everyone; remember that. So, just be open, and hope that fortune will get your back. It seems that you've been running so long, you've exhausted your mind. That's why we started our journey with a lullaby. So, you got a lot of waking up to do, my friend. I'm thinking we should talk about the eyes again. So, let's talk about it. (Chorus)
9.
(Chorus) You don't even know. You don't even know. (Verse 1) But we're on the same boat. Everybody seems a prophet; tell me, what do they know? Oh, don't put on your raincoat. Today's a rainy day, but tonight's a rainbow. Everybody's looking for a cure all. Consumerism, infomercial. Tell me, what's in your wallet? Is it happiness or a substitute at best? If I told you I could solve you, would you write me a check? 'Cause if you checked with me, I'd likely tell you to reflect. What are all the reasons that you're sticking out your neck? What do you care for, and who are you now? And do you love yourself, or is that a lie that you tell? And it's a long, long road to walk by yourself, and it's a hard, hard thing to admit you need help. It takes a lifetime to learn yourself. No, there's not a cureall for your mental health. I'm sorry. (Chorus) You don't even know. You don't even know. You don't even know. I don't even know. (Verse 2) I'm just trying to relate to you. I want you all to listen to the message I've relayed to you. I hope it doesn't seem as though this life is just a race to you. You gotta take your time, a one-on-one with your own mind, and you will find that your vices are there for you to hide in, and they're the only reason you have never let the light in, and I guess you're flightless and fightless, afraid of what is lurking right behind your eyelids. It's like a desert: Deserted while your appetites were centered. A letter of sadness, you just hit return to sender. A better path to take is weathering the weather. Surrender to yourself and let your vices to the shredder. I know... I know. I know it's hard to do. I know you can't believe that happiness will start to bloom, but a part of you knows that you aren't alive by any means. So, what's the real harm in trying things? You don't even know. (Chorus) You don't even know. You don't even know. You don't even know. I don't even know. We don't even know. We don't even know. We don't even know. We don't even know.
10.
Liberation 03:05
(Verse 1) Is it time to feel good? Is it time to feel? Could and should I feel good? All right... Is it time to feel right? Was wrongness mistook? I stayed up and shook all night. So cold, and so old [is] this mindset of fear and darkness foretold; Not mine... but I use the foresight to prevent it anyway; No one should feel lost. It's been so long since old times before my intellect had me questioning myself. Open up the journal, writing letters to myself. Check the therapist; hopin' medicine will help, but it didn't. I think I might've finally found a way to be me. Hence the teachings that are present on this CD. Just hear me out, and hear me shout. Maybe then, you'll find a way to beat the doubt. (Chorus) I feel liberated. I feel liberated. Can you feel the change? Of course, you can't. You're scared of change. My forecast says your sun is settled down. Settled down. (Repeat) (Verse 2) I'm the angel on my shoulder, and the demon on the other side. I run and hide from the demon on the other side. Tell me if I'm right: Do you fear yourself or not? Are you too mixed in society to dig deep down inside? Are we taught to fear ourselves? Taught that ignorance is bliss? Taught that living is just work, and you gotta work live? Yeah, you gotta work to live; gotta work to learn yourself, gotta deal with all your demons, gotta send them back to Hell. Nah, they ain't demons. They're just hidden parts of you, allowed to stay alive because you keep it dark in you. Scared to shine the light because you feel the less you know, the better, but without the sun, how could you forecast the weather? (Chorus) I feel liberated. I feel liberated. Can you feel the change? Of course, you can't. You're scared of change. My forecast says Your sun is settled down. (Repeat) Settled down.
11.
Ramble 02:17
(Verse 1) I want a surplus of you bending your legs. I want mo' knee. Mo' knee. I get it mo' knee like money. Honey, it's funny 'cause plenty of ugly deeds are done in the name of two things: God and money. It's kinda funny, but not in a laughing way. I start to stammer, but there is nothing to say. Because the universe is grand, and there's been billions of years, And in my 70, on average, I'll see plenty of fears. Man, I'm not trying to be a nihilist. I'm just trying to find the reason we desire respect. I see the worry piling up as I acquire my debt. I see depression weighing down as I try finding my head, But I've been losing it... Where's the impact I'm supposed to make? And Where's the big path that I'm supposed to take? And where's the quick cash that I'm supposed to make? And where're the clique fans that I'm supposed to save? Man, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say! Is there a plan? A grand scheme of things I need to see? I've been holding back in person out of decency recently, but I need to know: What is passion? What's the point of it? It's poisonous. It drives you to do, but drives you crazy while adjoined to it, but, damn, the outcome makes it worth the hit. All this labor for art; you'd think I birthed the shit.. But it really is my child in a way, I look at every song as it's my time to have a say; My time to have a voice and my own island today, away from all the judgments and the bias in my way... But I'm not trying to be assigned to this fear. I'm just trying to be alive for these years. I'm just trying to be aligned with the love and everything that's ever good with life. I just wanna surround myself with people that will better me in every way, where everyday's a day that I look forward to, and I don't care if I rhyme; I just care that my chest is clear. I just care that my best is here, and I just care that my lesson's real, and I just care that I'm trying to make the most out of my fraction of the universe's time. And I'm'a keep it in my mind; yeah, I know I'm only human. I'll make some changes in my life, not just a new year's resolution. (Verse 2) The mind's a powerful tool; if you don't take the time to learn it, it'll be sour to you, And all these small fears will be a tower to you. Busy, busy mind, redefining hour for you. And this is self-improvement. Explore your mind for your fears and your hopes, and nearly kill yourself bringing them to terms. And stop hiding and finding yourself like a treasure in your chest 'cause then, you never can rest. I'm gone, man.
12.
Run and Hide 03:15
(Intro) I see into your eyes (Repeat X2) (Chorus) and You don't wanna run; you don't wanna hide. (Repeat X3) (Verse 1) All you do is try to run. All you do is hide from the sun. You don't wanna love. You don't really wanna rise above anything anymore. Any ring at the door goes ignored, but I see... I see into your eyes. (Chorus) and you don't wanna run; you don't wanna hide. (Repeat X3) (Verse 2) There it was. Gone away. Man, you almost had a break, But you let it go through the door. Like everything else. You quote the Raven: Nevermore. Nevertheless, you seem to want more. You seem to want change. I can see it in your eyes. I see into your eyes. (Chorus) and You don't wanna run; you don't wanna hide. (Repeat X3) (Verse 3) [higher] So, why do you keep hidin' away when you want those changes today? You gotta have strength. You gotta be brave. I know that you wanna try 'cause I see into your eyes. (Chorus) and You don't wanna run; you don't wanna hide. (Repeat X6)
13.
Move 02:52
(Intro) I see the cloud that surrounds me. I hear the voices so loudly. I feel the doubt, but don't count me out. (Verse 1) I almost feel like I've been missing my mission. Been reminiscing on the past, not giving visions a visit. I guess it's image that I worry for; Saving face. Lay to waste As I wait for my death on a dirty floor. I'm imagining a ceiling that I made for myself. So, I stay in a spell as my fate fakes a wealth. Face is saved, I can tell, but the soul suffers. Break away, and my mind as a whole buffers. Try to ask me where I'm headed; watch this dolt stutter. I don't know if I'm lost in the short or the long run. I don't know if I'll be sore when it's all done. All I really know is I need motion. I'm sick of sitting faking hope when I'm hopeless. I need to move. (Chorus) Move. I want you to move. No more complacency. It may seem crazy, but I want you to move. I see the cloud that surrounds me. I hear the voices so loudly. I feel the doubt, but don't count me out. (Verse 2) Where's my initiative? I feel like I've given in. I feel like my passion is Elvis; Folks, Elvis has just left the building, and I'm working on booking another show. But he's busy. No headliners, and my club is gonna die. Or maybe, I just won't let it. Instead of feeling dependant on random events, I'll head in directions with better ends I feel like I can cause. Return to sender this letter of stress. I'm stressing a better direction of life where we never will pause. We'll only move. (Chorus)
14.
(Chorus) Tell me something I don't know. How do I liberate my soul? How do I fix my heart of stone? How can what once was sharp be dull? Please help me, someone; can you hear? I'm sick of wiping all my tears. Why is it life seems so unclear? I'm sick of hiding from my fears. and, oooh, I know there's a place where I can go, though it's a way less traveled road, and there'll be more pain 'fore I can grow. (Verse 1) I gotta deal with myself. Yeah, I know I gotta learn myself And my advice is: Stop trying to hide behind your vices, and stop playing the victim. You gotta look inside and look into your mind and shine the light in, or the demon's only gonna get bigger. You gave it power over you, And now, your only options are to cower or recoop. Let this album help you through. This is how you really catch a demon: You learn its name. So, learn your name. Are you a demon or a saint? (Chorus) (Verse 2) I just really wanna know myself, and I just wanna have control of myself. I've been sorting through the mess. I've been clearing the debris. Been looking into shards of broken mirror to see the real me. Yeah, it isn't complete yet, but I'm willing to pick up the pieces even if it means a couple of cuts, and some blood might have to be spilled in the battle. Better than the gradual death from before. I'll be sore, but it's okay. Yeah, it's okay 'cause I know that I'll be headed in my own way. (Outro/ Chorus) Oh, I wanna liberate my soul. I'll chip away my heart of stone, then sharpen what has become dull. And, ooh, I know there's a place where I can go, though it's a way less traveled road, and there'll be more pain 'fore I can grow. So, I'll take the time, so I can grow. I'll listen deep to all my woes. Release my demon's stranglehold! Oh, I wanna liberate my soul. I'll chip away my heart of stone, then sharpen what has become dull. Sharpen what has become dull. I'll sharpen what has become dull.

credits

released July 7, 2018

Featuring:
SWETZ as backing vocals on Line of Sight and Run and Hide.
Mark Perez as guitar on Line of Sight.
Rugrats sample on Ramble.

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Konscience Merrillville, Indiana

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